Sunday 24th April 2011
What did I eat today?
Breakfast - Fruits of the Forest Slim Fast & a Banana
Lunch - 2 Bananas Pint Fresh Orange and Diet Lemonade
Dinner - 3 bird roast, carrots, broccoli and cauliflower
- Banana & Pineapple with fat free greek natural yoghurt
- 2 glasses of Rose wine
- Slice of Raspberry cheesecake
So what have I done today? I couldn’t sleep in so I was up at 8:30am. I had my Slim Fast and a cup of tea. Then I went into the kitchen to prepare all my fruit bags, so that I can freeze them for my smoothies next week. I made 10 bags of Pineapple, mango and banana chunks, 100g of each fruit. It is beginning to kick in now. Not long before the Operation and I think I am now beginning to get the jitters. My heart was racing and I came over all faint. Is this just my imagination? I think so. I finished the fruit bags and decided to make 4 more with Raspberries, blueberries and strawberries. I want to be prepared for next week when I get home. As I don’t know how I am going to feel.
After I’d finished I prepared all the veg for the dinner tonight, 8 potatoes for roasties and I’m not allowed any of them what so ever. This week seems for some reason to be the hardest. Everything that I’ve not been allowed I’ve craved for. Crisps, bread, roast potatoes, nachos and about a dozen other things. Is this because I know that after Tuesday that’s it? Or is it because I’ve not had any for over 3 weeks now and my body is craving it? I can’t decide to be honest I just know that this week has been the most difficult out of the last 4.
I keep looking forward and reminding myself why I’m doing this. I keep looking towards my end game and what I want to achieve. A size 12 from River Island to fit perfectly! I hear you say “River Island”, why that shop and no other? Well I will tell you. It’s because I’ve never ever in my life bought anything from there and every time that I pass this shop, I love the clothes that are in the windows. Also, because every time I have gone in the shop assistants, no matter where in the UK the shop has been, have looked down their noses at me as if to say, “What you doing in here? You do know that nothing in here will ever fit you!” So I want to walk in just like all the others do and not feel like that. I want to feel how Julia Roberts did in Pretty Women when she walked into the shop on Rodeo Drive and said “You wouldn’t wait on me, big mistake, big big mistake!” I know you may think that it’s funny I sound sad but that’s just how I have felt all these years.
I finished off the 4th washing load of the day and hung it all out. The rest of the day I finished my 7th blog and posted that. Then it was time to serve up dinner and chill for a bit. While sitting here I got the pang of needing something sweet. I can’t understand why as I’m not really a sweet tooth. So I’ve had some cheesecake. It can’t hurt, can it? Come 10:30am I was totally knackered. So I went to bed and lay and did some Su Doku before I turned the light out and went to sleep.
Monday 25th April 2011
What did I eat today?
Breakfast - 2 eggs scrambled, 12 cherry tomatoes and 4 mushrooms poached
Lunch - 1 Banana Morrisons Spring Veg soup made with 500ml of water
- Pint of Fresh Orange and Diet Lemonade
Dinner - Chicken & Vegetable Stir Fry in a a Hoisin and Oyster Sauce
- Banana & Pineapple with fat free greek natural yoghurt
So today, mum and Bridie are coming down from Edinburgh on the train. They are both coming with me to support me with my surgery in Manchester. I got the house sorted and the washing up to date. I made a huge pot of Mince & potatoes with Yorkshire puddings for dinner for everyone else.
Daz went to work at the Greyhound for 11am. I had some soup and Mike made himself and Bop eggy bread. Then they went to the cinema to see Thor 3D. Just as I was about to leave to go to the station, Daz came in from work. I asked him if he wanted to come with me to collect his gran and Bridie? So he decided to and we drove through.
Mum and “B”, could cause a commotion in an empty house, so you can imagine what they can cause on a train full of people! They got off and had been drinking on the way down, and chatting up the guards and staff. You really can’t take them anywhere. It was great to see them both. I now have the peace of mind that they’re definitely here and are coming with me so I’m not on my own.
Back at the house we had a catch up and I prepared their dinner. Then we just chatted and stuff for the rest of the evening. I don’t feel like I’ve spoken properly to my mum in a few weeks. So having her here I can.
Tuesday 26th April 2011
What did I eat today?
Breakfast - Fruits of the Forest Slim Fast & a Banana
Lunch - Smoked Salmon Ceaser Salad
- Pint of Fresh Orange and Soda
Dinner - Breaded Mushrooms with BBQ & Garlic Dip
- Surf, Turf and Chicken with side salad, chips and onion rings
- Baked cheesecake with ice-cream
- 3 pints of Fresh Orange and Soda
So it’s the day before my surgery and I can tell. I hardly slept last night and I was up and downstairs at 6:30am this morning. I think I saw every passing hour on the clock and I didn’t go to bed until 11:30pm. I think the nerves are beginning to kick in. Also, for some strange reason, feel very weepy today. I asked Mike for a hug this morning and normally he says, “no, don’t be so soft”, but this morning he didn’t. He just put his arms around me and gave me a big hug.
I had my slim fast shake and a cup of tea for my breakfast and pottered around until bailey, got up and then Bridie got up. I ironed my ¾ length jeans and white top to wear to drive in, and then went up the stairs to get mum up and Daz out of my bed so that I could get myself packed for the Journey to Manchester. I packed my bag, sorted out mum and Bridie’s vodka and Bacardi for the few nights away and some nibbles. Also, the all important laptop so that I can keep you all up to date with what has been happening and how I’ve been feeling.
We got into the car and by 11:45am we were at the Premier Inn at Deansgate Manchester. It was if I’d blinked and one minute we were in Shap and with the next blink we were in Manchester. We booked into the room and I ordered breakfast and lunch for mum and “B”. All the staff at the Premier Inn was lovely. You’re only meant to have to have 2 adults and 2 children in a room. But because I am only going to be in there tonight and not having any breakfast in the morning, then they have said that it is okay. Also, I didn’t want to be on my own the night before my surgery. So thankfully the all staff was excellent and very accommodating. We booked a taxi for 2:30pm to take us to the hospital for me to have all my pre op tests. We went to our room, and were surprised to find it large and roomy. Clean and tidy with a large kingsize bed for mum and “B” to share.
We went through to the bar and had some lunch prior to my visit to the hospital. I must say that the Premier Inn has come a long way in the past few years. The decor and furnishings were impeccable and the food was just perfect. I was able to order something direct from the menu and not have to worry about asking for an adapted meal.
Our taxi came and we went to the Spire Manchester Hospital. On the road down to the hospital, the traffic humps where more like mountains, I think the taxi’s suspension was shot to bits. It was like the backend of the taxi was hitting the ground after every hump. We pulled into the hospital and were directed to the outpatients department, which then in-turn directed us to the 3rd floor, where I would have my bloods taken and my MRSA and MSSA swabs taken. We were at the hospital for about a total of 30 mins and then it was off back to the Premier Inn. Once we got there we decided to get the directions to the Trafford Centre and then it was in the car and off we went.
I’ve never been in the Trafford Centre and it is totally massive. Why haven’t I been there before? Far too many shops to choose from, and the best bit of all was that they were all under one roof. I was in my element. I know now where I’m coming once all my weight has come off to have a massive spending spree. We popped into loads of shops but the only one which I bought from was Next. I bought 2 tops which even when I lose the weight they will still be okay with a belt around them. Mum picked up some bits from Bon Marche and B picked up some bits from H & M. I was becoming tired as I hadn’t slept very well for a few nights so I went out of the shop and sat on the benches and people watched. It was lovely just sitting there letting the world pass by and just relax. The children were watching the fountain spurt water high into the air and come back down. They were screeching and running upto the fountain and running away in fear of getting wet.
It made me think of my boys back in Cumbria and a tear came to my eye. What if something went wrong? What if I didn’t wake up from the anaesthetic? What would happen to them? My jitters were all so real. I didn’t even have an up to date will. The last Will which I had written was when I was in the Army and my Ex husband would stand to get everything. What was I to do? I went to W H Smiths and bought one of the Will packs. I needed to know that my boys would both be well cared for and looked after. Also, they would have security, a roof over their heads and a loving family to support them. I this may sound morbid to you but I needed peace of mind. Also, I didn’t want my Ex-husband to get anything.
Back at the hotel we went to dinner, it was like the condemned woman having her last supper. So I went the whole hog. Starter, Main and Dessert followed by a Baileys coffee and a Pint of Fresh Orange and Diet Lemonade. I know I’ve kicked the arse out of it but hey ho. Going to be on soup and yoghurt for the next 3 weeks and really I’ve been so good the past 4 weeks so I’m sure this once I can splurge a little.
After dinner we went back to the room and got into bed and lay and watched a little TV. I tried to get to sleep but every time I closed my eyes all I could hear was mum and B snoring it was like I was conducting an orchestra. But also, there was the reality that I was having my surgery in less than 24 hours, and I really was apprehensive, frightened, worried and scared all at once.
Wednesday 27th April 2011
What did I eat today?
Breakfast - 2 pints of iced water and lemon
Lunch -
Dinner -
We walked into the reception and I booked in. The hospital porter came and took me to my room. It was nothing like the routine which would happen if we were to go into the standard NHS hospital. Saying that, they’ve never asked me to swipe a debit or credit card for any expenses incurred during my stay.
We were in the room 5 mins and the Staff nurse came in and introduced herself. She asked me loads of questions and informed me that these questions would likely be asked several times today before I even got down to the theatre. Then the anaesthetist came in and spoke with me about what he was going to do. Then Mr Akhtar my Surgeon came in to speak with me about my surgery and what was happening and if I was happy with everything.
Next, I was told to get into the lovely green gown which I had to wear to go to the theatre. If I can attach a picture I will show you. Then the next thing I knew the nurse was collecting me to take me to the theatre. When I look back at it was all very quick. I didn’t have any time to even think about what was happening. Down in the theatre prep room I was hooked up to the BP machine, the sats machine and a drip canula was put into my left hand. The last thing I remember was talking about Daz, Bailey, Mike and Oscar and then nothing.
In the recovery room, I didn’t come round too easily. I went down to the theatre at 1:30pm and didn’t return back on the ward until 5:45pm. The staff said that I didn’t come round from this very well and I was in a lot of pain. They brought me back to the room and mum and B where there waiting for me. I was in a lot of pain and I can’t remember much of what went on. Mum and B where up to their usual taking the piss. But I was totally oblivious to it all. The rest of the evening I was in and out of consciousness. Most of the evening was a blur.
Thursday 28th April 2011
What did I eat today?
Breakfast - yoghurt and cup of tea
Lunch - chicken consommé soup and ½ yoghurt, Earl Grey tea
Dinner - ½ bowl vegetable consommé soup
I was awake every 2 hours throughout the night. I was full of wind but couldn’t get it out. I eventually got up and put my house coat on. Then I had yoghurt and struggled to eat it. I then waited a bit and watched a little TV, and tried to write some of my blog. I can’t sit for long as I find it really uncomfortable. I have 5 small cuts just across the top of my stomach just under my chest. One of them is more uncomfortable than the rest, because it was the main port that the surgeon used to carry out my surgery.
Mr Akhtar came to see me and we spoke for about 1 hour. He is such a lovely man and an excellent surgeon. He said that my stomach was larger than he’s expected it to be and this was most probably the reason why I have struggled with my weight for such a long time. He made me feel at ease and said that he was confident that I was well prepared for the rest of my future and the changes which I had to make.
Once he went I had a shower. I felt more human. I was orange on one side of me because of the iodine, and blue on the back due to the gown and dye they put in to my drip to check my surgery. Mum and B said I looked a bit like an Avatar reject! Cheeky buggars! Then it was lunchtime. I could only eat half of my soup, I kept the yoghurt to have at 3pm. Mum and B came to see me after their escapades of shopping in Manchester city centre. They two would definitely cause trouble in an empty room.
They stopped until 5pm and then went back to the Premier Inn, I went upstairs and had my dinner. I could only eat half of my soup and I gave the yoghurt back I was full. I tried to close my bedroom window and couldn’t it was too difficult. The next minute I was crying. Why was I crying? It was only a window! I’m so independent and this just brought it to the forefront that I’d have to ask for help and support for once. I couldn’t just get on and do it like I normally do. Stupid me.
I’m not going to follow on from blog 7 today I feel this blog should be about my surgery. I will carry on my life story in blog 9.
