Monday 18th April 2011
What did I eat today?
Breakfast - Strawberry Slim Fast Banana
Lunch - Dilute juice lettuce and tomatoes
Dinner - Chicken & Vegetable stir fry in an Chow mein sauce
- 2 Bananas
Today I was up early and ready to go. Today I was teaching children with disabilities and/or additional needs. I so love doing this kind of work I feel that it gives so much back and all you have to see are the smiles on their faces. With 12 children it was a busy day. We made Cheesy Beef Burgers on burger buns with lettuce and tomato with homemade Potato Wedges. Next we made Jaffa Tarts and Raspberry & White Chocolate Tarts. The kids all loved it and it was such a joy to see how happy they all were. We didn’t get finished until just after 3pm. But there was so much to do and to tidy up.
I went home with some burgers so the boys and Mike had 2 each with homemade wedges. So an easy tea. I then got the kit and ingredients ready for tomorrow as I was teaching again another lot of children at a different area.
I must say that the joy from working with children not unlike my son Bailey gives me great pleasure. I feel that I accomplish more and that the children really appreciate it and want to learn. I want my son and all children with disabilities and/or additional needs to have every opportunity which their peers would have. Why, just because they are different, should life be so different? I appreciate that some have more severe issues than others but this shouldn’t stop them from trying everything.
So I didn’t really have any lunch today. It was very difficult to fit lunch in as I was so busy. The food wasn’t what I was allowed to eat so I went without. I am trying to be upbeat today about not going to the Gym since Monday of last week but I feel as though I’m letting myself down.
Tuesday 19th April 2011
What did I eat today?
Breakfast - Banana Slim Fast with skimmed milk
Lunch - Grapefruit Juice and Soda
Dinner - Steamed Chicken Breast, with Broccoli, green beans and carrots
- Large glass of Fresh Orange and Diet Lemonade
So yet again I was teaching children with disabilities and/or additional needs. Eight very lovely, kind and caring children. Who had smiles on their faces all day and really enjoyed themselves. They made the same as the children did yesterday. But we had a bit of a dilemma; the mini muffin pan wouldn’t fit into the oven as it was too big. So we had to make alternative tarts on the sheet pan instead. They turned out fantastically and the children all loved them. They took them home with their parents.
At home I had to sort out the house again as usual and the dishes. Also, my kit for the Gym tomorrow. Not been in over a week and need to get back into it.
Wednesday 20th April 2011
What did I eat today?
Breakfast - Strawberry Slim Fast with skimmed milk
Lunch - Tuna Fish Salad
Dinner - Morrisons Minestrone Soup, dry packet with 500ml water & Banana
- Large glass of Fresh Orange and Diet Lemonade
Well got up bright and early. Got my kit ready for the Gym. I took Bailey to the childminders. No Bop for a couple of nights. It will be good. I can spend tomorrow with Daz, some quality time which we so greatly need. I put the dog into the car as he was going to the vets to have his hip scores and elbow grading done. We want to stud him but can’t until we have the results of these tests. I then headed to the Gym.
As I walked into the Gym Sharkey and Lee were on duty. The welcome again, was friendly and welcoming. Asking how I was and what I’d been up to. Also, how I was feeling. I popped into the changing rooms and got myself ready. It was a lovely sunny day outside so I made sure that my water bottle was filled up and walked to the gym door. I jumped on to the running machine, plugged in my IPod and set the machine off, 10min workout at 2% incline and a pace of 6. By the end of the 10mins I’d certainly warmed up, and raised my heart rate. Next, I carried out my warm up, and then it was on to the circuits. They seemed really easy today. I pushed on through them and raised my weights by another 5lbs. I felt fantastic. Then it was on to the krank machine which was easy so I made the resistance as difficult as I could manage. Then it was on to the dreaded rowing machine. I wanted to beat my previous time, 5min 9secs. So I set off. I was going well then my headphones fell out twice. I had to stop to put them back in. I was determined to beat this time but I’d thought that I’d mucked it up now. I looked at the distance I still had to row and the time. I had 200m left to go and I was at 4min 15secs. I pulled with all my might, with every ounce of energy which I had in my body. 1000m came and I was done. Had I done it? Did I beat my previous time? Yes, I did it, 4min 57secs, 12 seconds off my previous time. I was shouting at the top of my voice, Yes, Yes, Yes.
Lee came running to the Gym window to check on me. He thought that something was wrong. I said no I was ecstatic and not to worry. So now it was my last 15min on the treadmill. I had my music on full blast and I power walked my way to the end with the biggest grin on my face.
Afterwards, I went to have my shower only to find out that I’d forgotten my hair brushes, so once I was dry I went upstairs to the hairdressers to have my hair blow-dry straight. Then it was off to the Narrowbar cafe with Lee-Ann for lunch. I met Le-Ann at the beginning of joining the Gym. A friendship which I hope continues for many years. After a lovely lunch I bought a few things in Penrith then it was home to sort out tea for Mike and me. At home the vet phoned for me to collect Oscar. So it was back through to Penrith. At the vet Oscar was still dizzy from his aesthetic. He looked as though he’d drunk a bottle of gin stumbling all about the place with his tongue hanging out. He looked a bit like mike when he’s been drinking. Very funny. I took him home and let him sleep in the livingroom.
Thursday 21st April 2011
What did I eat today?
Breakfast - Raspberry Crush Ready made slim fast shake
Lunch - Chicken Salad Wrap with a skinny Decaf latte, Mango Smoothie
Dinner - Chicken Stir Fry with vegetables and bean sprouts
in a sweet & sour sauce
- 2 pints of Fresh Orange Juice and Diet Lemonade
So, up at about 9am, breakfast, dressed and off to Kendal to do some shopping with Daz and Sue. So, off to Next, Pets at Home and Inn Stores. Then we went to the Westmorland Shopping centre. We went to Next, Burtons and Monsoon. I can’t go past a Monsoon shop without going in. I love that shop. I’ll love it even more when I can shop there for smaller sizes. We then went to Costa Coffee for lunch. Another few shops later and we headed back to the car. Daz bought Sue and me a Mango Smoothie and himself an icecream.
Back home we sorted through all the shopping, made dinner for Mike and Daz. I then took a little old lady from Wasdale to the hospital in Penrith to visit her poorly husband. She is 84 and her husband is 93, he’s not very well and they have neither transport nor family in Shap. Marrie is a lovely lady, independent, flighty and a great sense of humour. She constantly wants to pay me for taking her places, but I feel that if you can’t help someone in need then why bother. It is nice to be nice.
Friday 22nd April 2011
What did I eat today?
Breakfast - 2 Eggs Scrambled, 8 Poached Cherry Tomatoes and 2 Poached
Mushrooms
Lunch - Morrisons Minestrone Soup, dry packet with 500ml water & BananaDinner - Roast Chicken Breast, Broccoli, Carrots and Swede
- 2 pints of Fresh Orange Juice and Diet Lemonade
- 2 Bananas
Today I haven’t stopped. The weather is lovely and I’ve been able to get 5 loads of washing done and all the housework. There is nothing much else to tell you about today, apart from cooking a lovely dinner.
Saturday 23rd April 2011
What did I eat today?
Breakfast - Banana Slim Fast
Lunch - Chicken Noodle Soup
Dinner - Chicken Stir Fry with mixed veg and beansprouts
- Diet Lemonade & Fresh Orange Juice
Today, it was an early rise as I had to take the car to the garage to get the air conditioning fixed. I dropped it off and went across to morrisons to do a little shopping. £100 later and I’d finished. So I popped to the cafe to have a latte and read the magazine I’d just bought while I was waiting for my car to get fixed. An hour or so later I got the call to let me know that my car was ready. I picked it up and then I went to Comet to buy a smoothie/juice maker. Then it was off to Aldi to get the hotdogs and chilli for the boy’s dinner, and home.
Back at home I unloaded the shopping and made some lunch. Then I took Bailey Bop to the hairdressers to get his curly mop cut. He then wanted to take some money out of his bank account to buy some playmobil. So we did and then I popped to the jewellers to get rid of some of my broken and unwanted gold. By the time that I was finished I had received £500 for practically very little gold. So I took it and put it into the bank. A nice little nest egg for our summer holidays.
Then home to Sunny Shap, dinner made and a type up on here of my last week. I shall add the rest tomorrow as I’m tired and need my sleep.
So following on from blog 6;
In preparation for going to Guildford, I now had an excuse not to be in the house on the evenings. I would do my job at the Computer company during the day, Monday to Friday. Then on an evening I would go to high impact aerobics Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evening and a Saturday morning at 10am. It was fantastic. Also, at the age of 17 I applied to a pub to be a barmaid. I told a little white lie that I was 18 and they believed me. So on a Friday, Saturday and Sunday evening I worked there. It was the Jolly Farmer in Moredun. It was a broad based local which served the local community. I also worked on a Sunday afternoon for a couple of hours. I was out of the house as much as possible. Any, shift that came up I was there. Prior to leaving I had a huge party at the pub and all my family and friends came. Everyone was so proud of me. The first in 2 generations to join the forces, little did they know my real reasons for wanting to run away to Army.
I got together my clothes and belongings which I was allowed to take. I had to go out and buy jeans and jogging pants as I didn’t wear such things. I always wore dresses and skirts. I took my own iron and hairdryer and my new boot and shoe cleaning kit. Also, I took my huge boogie box which played cassettes. I had some money but not lots. Enough money to make emergency calls, too speak with my mum. Between the November 1990 and the 10 February 1991, There was little occasion which he made me massage him, or touch me, or make me lay beside him. I had the perfect excuse not to be in the house with him on my own.
On the 11th February 1991, I went to Waverley Train station, with my mum and “That Man”. This was my first official day in the British Army. I met up with 3 other girls who were also going to Guildford. That day, “That Man” told me that the Army was my mum and dad now. That he and my mum were no longer. I thought that this was rather a strange thing to say, but at the time never took much notice of it. He gave me a cassette with a song on it. But I wasn’t allowed to listen to it until the train had left the station. I cried, so hard that day. I didn’t want to leave my mum or sisters behind. But if I was to get away from “That Man”, this was the only way. From a young age I wanted to be a police woman and that just wasn’t going to happen, as the police cadets were disbanded and I would have to wait until I was at least 18 to even apply, not to mention gain some life skills before getting in. So this was the road which I was to take. On leaving the train station I put the cassette into my boggie box and pressed play. The song that came on was “In the Army Now” by Status Quo. The tears just came streaming out of my eyes. The other 3 girls were all cried too. Why, would he do that? Why would he record that one song? Did he think it was funny? I certainly didn’t. The journey down to London seemed really long. Then we got a message over the trains’ intercom system. There had been several bomb scares in London so we wouldn’t be able to get there on the train. So we had to stop outside and make our way on a coach so far and then by taxi to Guildford. It was very late by the time we arrived at Guildford but the people on the gate seemed friendly enough.
Now, I hear you ask. Why did I join the Army? I went from a controlling, overbearing, abusive man, too the Army. Not much different in some people’s eyes. Well I didn’t look at it like that. At least the Army wouldn’t abuse me, like “That man” had for the last nearly 10 years.
Basic training was fun, exciting, exhausting and eye-opening all at the same time. I made some really nice friends and being in 2 platoon was great fun. We had, I would say the best time, compared to 1 and 3 platoon. During our whole 8 weeks basic training we only had 1 change parade and our NCO’s were the best.
Part the way through our training we were given 2 weeks break for Easter so I caught the train back home. It was great to see my mum and sisters again. I had plenty of money as well. They had paid us before we’d left the camp. As soon as I got in the door, I was informed by “That Man”, I had to pay digs of £50.00 for the two weeks stay, also if I wanted anything different from what was already in the cupboards then I’d have to buy it myself. Also, every time I used the telephone I had to pay 50p. While I was home I had to sort out my room with all my stuff and start taking my things away. Anything which was left was going to be thrown out. WELCOME HOME KERRYANNE!!!! I stayed out as much as possible. When mum was working nights I’d try and stop over at friends. But still, I couldn’t escape him. He smelled of strong coffee and cigarettes. It made me want to heave. I couldn’t wait to get back to camp. Anything was better than having to share a house with him.
Back at camp we got back into our routine. We were given our first late pass and went into Aldershot for the evening. We went around some bars, Queens, Georges and Five’s Bar. Five’s Bar at the time was the Para’s bar and well you didn’t say anything out of turn in there as they’d smack you as quick as look at you. One of the girls, who were going to train as an RMP, thought that she was hard and decided to square up to one of the Para lads and he smacked her square in the face. She hit the floor like a sack of potatoes. She was out cold. It’s funny looking back at it now, but at the time it wasn’t. We got back to camp at some ungodly hour. I can’t quite remember as I was so drunk. How I was able to march from the guardhouse to the block I can’t remember, but I got there. Then at silly o’clock in the morning there was a bomb scare. All the girls and NCO’s were trying to get me out of bed. I kept pulling the duvet back over my head and trying to get to sleep. In the end I had to be carried to the Gym by 2 of the girls with a blanket. I don’t remember much more of that evening but the following day I was shit scared. I was still only 17 years old and I we were all informed that if we were found drinking or drunk then we’d be kicked out of the Army. Nothing was said to me that day and for the next 2 days. Then my NCO came to me and informed me that I was a really lucky girl. I was lucky in the fact that I looked older than I was and they just put it down to high spirits. If they’d known on that evening then I’d have been out on my arse and on my way home. Needless to say, I never ever drank that much ever again. I wasn’t prepared for “That Man” to say “I told you so!” Or “I knew you’d never last”. He always thought that I wouldn’t stick the discipline in the Army or being told what to do and when to do it. Little did he know I stuck at it, so that I didn’t have to put up with what he put me through and what he did to me!
When it came to my Passing Out Parade. He didn’t come. My mum was upset but I wasn’t. She was the only one which I really wanted there. Mum came with her friend Izzy. Izzy was a character. She was a comedian and swore like a trouper. But she had the biggest heart of anyone whom I ever knew. They both came down for my pass off and then we went out for the weekend into London shopping. Mum had never seen a wooden top policeman before so she and Izzy had their pictures taken with him. Next we went to Harrods and I bought my mum her very first Harrods Teddy Bear. We had an amazing time and I was so proud to have my mum there.
One thing I must say is that my mum and I, when I was younger, never really had a mother – daughter relationship. We were more like sisters. With only 16 years between us. I was older than her little sister Ashley. I had to pay for my mum’s tickets and accommodation. It wasn’t very nice accommodation but it meant that I could see her. “That Man” wasn’t going to give her the money to let her come and see me pass off. He said that, “they couldn’t afford it”. Yet again, he was interfering in what should have been one of the most memorable days in my life. But I wasn’t going to let him win. My mum was going to be there. By hook or by crook.
I had a few days off, and then I was put into holding for a week. I was moved into the transit accommodation while the transport arrangements were made for me to move to Templar Barracks in Ashford. This would be the start of my trade training, at the Intelligence Corp Headquarters. This would be the start, of the beginning of my career, in the Corps which supports me and my family, to this day.
All the way through basic training I struggled with my fitness. I never was the worst, but never was I the best. I was most definitely bigger than the rest of the girls. All size 6 – 12 and I was 14 bordering on 16. I never failed a fitness test and I can honestly say that I put in 100% effort every day. If the army knew then how much it meant to me to just be there and not at home in Edinburgh they’d have understood. I still ate as a comfort. I missed my mum and sisters. Life even though i’d made friends was lonely. The only good thing about it was that I didn’t have to be in the same house as “That Man”.
Hey lady, going through all that our family is going through right now, i have complete admiration for you, i know its good therapy to write, i am inspired by this blog to keep fighting our fight. You are strong. hugs.
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